Today I'm honoring 8 years since being diagnosed with stage IV cancer. 12/15/16.
What started as a cyst under my arm turned into a life-changing diagnosis. I went to the doctor with my mom, and he quickly mentioned possibilities like lymphoma or breast cancer. It was all dramatic, and he urged me to get a biopsy right away.
Friday, 12/9, Dr. Funk’s office, she was 90% sure it was breast cancer, most likely stage II. I asked her, “Am I going to die?” She reassured me that I wasn’t, but it would be a tough couple of months. Dr. Funk promised to call on Monday with results.
When I picked up the phone on Monday, Dr. Funk immediately told me, “You have triple-negative breast cancer.” She said it looked like we caught it early—stage II, treatable. I was scared. I called my mom, and I cried in bed, not wanting anyone to see how terrified I was.
By Wednesday, 12/15 I had an MRI and met with an oncologist at Cedar Sinai. Stage II had become stage III, still treatable. But we needed a PET scan, just to be sure. In the waiting room, I felt something was wrong. The doctor came in and said they’d found a mass on my bone. Stage IV. I was numb.
Then a voice in my head said, “How could you have done this to yourself?” But almost immediately, another voice whispered, “Forgive yourself,” Jenn. For the first time, I saw how hard I was on myself. I had been ignoring my pain for so long.
I asked the doctor, “Didn’t you say stage III was curable and stage IV treatable?” He reassured me, “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”
As he left, I turned to my sister and said, “It’s from a broken heart.” It felt instinctual, as if this cancer was my body’s way of making me face emotional wounds I had been avoiding. This was no longer just about cancer—it was about healing the pain I’d carried for years.
My fear diminished when I met Dr. Slamon 12/20 at UCLA, where my trust in him empowered me to trust myself.
If you are just diagnosed, I feel you. The fear is real. But you are stronger. Cancer doesn’t have to be the enemy, it can be an experience, one that holds lessons, purpose, joy and possibilities. It inspired Love, Zero Negative. I hope it inspires others. You are loved, always.
