I love you so much. I know this is scary. I know you are feeling like you are betrayed by God, the universe, yourself, but I want you to know that you are always loved and cared for, and this journey has been designed for you, and by you, for your own healing and evolving. I’m sorry that it seems like the worst thing to happen to you. But it’s not. It’s going to be hard, challenging, and at times, not very fun, but trust that this is going to be one of the best things to happen to you and to your community around you. This is a gift that you were chosen to receive, and I know you will be able to see that soon.

Take the time you need to freak out. To cry. To feel sorry for yourself. To grieve who you think you are losing, and to complain to everyone. And then, once it’s out of your system, let’s start rebuilding from the ground up. Let’s shed all the stress, the worry about the future, the worry about treatment, because you’ve got all that. Be here now, in this moment, reading this, really hear these words, hear what is happening. This breath right now is what you have. And now you have the next one. Feel your body breathing, get out of your head, down to your heart, where everything is and where your safe place will become. Your heart is always there. Be with your heart. Thank it for beating for you. Maybe apologize for not seeing it, not hearing it, listening more to your head, and forgetting your heart. But it’s okay because once you get it, you can never forget it.

Once you understand the power you have, the choice to be with and experience your heart, your head will start to lose power and worry, and you will get to trust that love is the answer. Start loving who you are, the beautiful human being that you have become, with all the mistakes and failures; we still love and forgive you because you are doing your best. This whole life thing, we are supposed to mess up, get turned around, make mistakes, and do stupid things. We are also supposed to grow, to stand up to what we know, and what we wish to be. Right now, I am sure all you wish to be is healthy again. Cancer-free. And if not, that’s okay too. You see? You can’t do anything wrong. There is no right or wrong. This is your story, your journey, your wish to be who you want to be.

All I can do is say I’m here when you need, when you want, when you believe, when you trust. Cancer is just a cell acting out, needing to be loved, seen, and heard; it’s you. So let’s go on this journey together, loving all of you, feeling all of you, experiencing all of you. Because you get to do this! You still have life, and life is still in you. You might as well make it as good as it can be because we never know how long we have, no one does. The secret to a happy life is to find happiness in every moment.

Here’s a mantra to recite when you feel lost, alone, anxious, scared, and/or overwhelmed. 

I love you.